


almost you, almost me

by eyeronicmuch



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous Relationships, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeronicmuch/pseuds/eyeronicmuch
Summary: Sometimes Mingyu wonders why he hasn’t told Wonwoo he loves him, why Wonwoo hasn't told him the same thing.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54





	almost you, almost me

**Author's Note:**

> 4am induced brain rot is real guys

_You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he_ _won't tell you that he loves_ _you, but he loves you. And you feel like you've done something terrible_ _, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shovelled yourself_ _a grave in the dirt, and you're tired. You're in a car with a beautiful boy,_ _and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to_ _choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and_ _he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your_ _heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you_ _don't even have a name for._

_— Richard Siken_

_—_

Mingyu sits on the front porch, a beer can in between his fingers. He doesn’t quite know for how long he’s been sitting here. Through his foggy brain he can register the piercingly fresh smell of the air and the wind biting at his fingers, but he makes no move to go back inside. There’s something serene about this coldness, like it’s filling the emptiness in his chest. Maybe it’s the fog talking. 

The road in front of him is fairly empty, quiet in contrast to the raging party going on behind him. A single car drives past Mingyu, then stops next to a tree and a familiar figure steps out of the vehicle, walking towards Mingyu until they’re facing each other. 

“What are you doing here,” Wonwoo says, expression stoic but voice exasperated. He looks a little disheveled, like he just got woken up. 

Mingyu tilts his chin up, narrows his eyes in concentration. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Jeonghan called me. Said he lost you. I’m here to make sure you get back to the dorms without freezing yourself.” 

Why would he call you out of all people, Mingyu thinks to himself. They aren’t friends. They don’t talk outside of the bedroom more often than not. Instead, he nods. “Help me up.”

“Just how much did you drink?” Wonwoo is frowning. 

“Two bottles or something like that. Dunno.”

Wonwoo huffs but reaches out to help Mingyu stand. His hand is hot around Mingyu’s waist, leaving an invisible burn that Mingyu will carry like a memory, a reminder, like he does with all other places where Wonwoo has touched him. Wonwoo lets Mingyu lean onto him, guides Mingyu’s arm over his shoulder. Mingyu slumps against him, allows himself to stick his nose into Wonwoo’s neck and breathe in his faint cologne. 

It’s a sad picture of a sadder story. Wonwoo’s hand leaves his waist as he opens the car door and Mingyu sighs as he gets inside, shivering a little at the warmth enveloping him. 

“You didn’t leave anything at the party, did you?”

“No,” Mingyu says. Then, after a moment, “You didn’t have to pick me up. You were most likely busy or asleep.”

“It’s nothing,” Wonwoo says, voice low, as he buckles Mingyu’s seatbelt for him, but it’s not nothing. It can’t possibly be nothing, when Wonwoo got out of bed at two in the morning on a Tuesday when he has an 8a.m. lecture the same day when they’re not even friends. It makes Mingyu feel terrible to inconvenience Wonwoo like this, it makes him feel pleased to know Wonwoo cares about him to this extent.

Wonwoo’s nose grazes Mingyu’s cheek intentionally or unintentionally when he pulls away. Mingyu’s breath hitches. He wishes he could sober up more quickly, because the urge to do something irrational, like wind his arms around Wonwoo’s neck and kiss him deeply is getting harder and harder to control. 

Wonwoo turns on the radio as he drives, but he always puts the volume to the lowest. It helps him focus more on the road, he’d said. Mingyu is pretty sure the thumping of his heart can be heard in the quiet. It’s erratic and unsteady and Mingyu both hates and loves how it obviously gives away how he feels, how its thumping speaks for itself. Wonwoo must know. He surely must know, from all the times he kissed Mingyu’s pulse behind his neck, all the times he felt the drumming in Mingyu’s rib cage when he ran his fingers down Mingyu’s chest. 

Mingyu leans in the backseat, but his eyes naturally drift towards Wonwoo’s side profile, like they’re drawn in to them by gravity. At two in the morning, basked in the pale moonlight, Wonwoo is beautiful. Mingyu looks at him and bites down a drunk confession threatening to spill out of his mouth, swallows it down with all he can. Sometimes Mingyu wonders why he hasn’t told Wonwoo he loves him, why Wonwoo hasn't told him the same thing. 

Sometimes it’s hard to determine whether Wonwoo loves him or not. Like now: Wonwoo, making sure Mingyu is alright, Wonwoo not talking to him as he steers, eyebrows knitted together like he’s displeased, Wonwoo slotting his free hand with Mingyu’s, making Mingyu realize he was trembling, Wonwoo not sparing him a glance as he does so, Wonwoo squeezing their joined hands together. 

Mingyu brings Wonwoo’s palm and presses it to his cheek, and out of his periphery he sees Wonwoo suppress a fond smile. There’s no one here, Mingyu wants to say aloud, you don’t have to suppress anything. It’s just you and me and the moon. 

The thing is—if Wonwoo would only ask, would even just hint at it, Mingyu would give his heart to him in an instant and lay it on a silver platter. But Wonwoo doesn’t, and Mingyu is left guessing whether Wonwoo only sees him as an occasional one night stand or something more. And it’s tiring to play these guessing games with yourself, and Mingyu has lectures in the morning as well, it’s a little ironic how he went to this party to get his mind off Wonwoo just to face him again.

The hand in his gets squeezed again firmly. “Your thoughts are too loud,” Wonwoo says quietly. Mingyu looks at their joined hands but doesn’t reply. This might as well be the first time they hold hands this innocently. 

Mingyu only takes his eyes away from them when Wonwoo pulls over right in front of his dorm building. He disentangles their hands reluctantly, slowly, and when he faces Wonwoo, Mingyu finds him already looking at him, gaze intense. He wonders what Wonwoo is searching for in his face, when he can be read like an open book. 

Mingyu says, “Well, um, thank you for the ride.” He should get out of the car, but for some reason, it’s hard to break eye contact. It’s almost like Wonwoo is looking at him for the very first time, like he’s looking right through him, like he’s reading his mind. In the quiet, Mingyu realizes that his heart isn’t the only heart that’s beating loudly. 

Mingyu thinks, if he won’t confess now, while he’s tipsy and vulnerable and brave all at the same time, he’ll never do it. His mouth opens, but no words come out. Wonwoo notices the hesitation and sighs. He places a hand on Mingyu’s thigh and kisses him right on the mouth. His lips are like fire against his and Mingyu is enveloped in it, burning. All words of confidence and cowardice crumble down Mingyu’s throat and get lost in the abyss. He kisses back, wanting for more, craving for more, and Wonwoo gives it to him in his own way. 

“Make sure you get a good night’s rest, okay? Text me when you get inside,” he says, and Mingyu laughs. 

“But we’re already practically at my front door.” 

Wonwoo raises a brow, unamused, and Mingyu can’t help but smile, “Okay.” He presses another kiss to Wonwoo’s cheek and doesn't say anything more. 

**Author's Note:**

> title is from almost blue by chet baker!


End file.
